A Yoga Story

I am so homesick today! Being 3,000 miles away from my family is hard sometimes, and when I start feeling this way I need to find something that makes me feel grounded- and quick, before I get too sad and down! Naturally, my yoga practice comes to mind. I want to share with you some of the ways yoga has changed my life. Not just physically, but in emotional and mental ways as well.

I started practicing yoga when I was 16. I didn't know what I was doing, or why I was doing it. I bought a DVD and started practicing in my parents' living room. I was weak. I didn't have the strength to lower myself to the mat in a modified chatturanga. I was nursing an ankle that had recently been surgically reconstructed. I didn't have a yoga mat or special yoga clothes. The DVD was 30 minutes long, it had two 15 minute sessions. I remember doing one almost every day, and on a good day I would do them both. I found them to be very difficult, but I loved it. Occasionally my dad would walk through the living room and shake his head, wondering where his weird little seedling actually came from.

Even though I didn't know where to take classes, or how to even get into one, I still talked about yoga a lot. For my 17th birthday, a friend gave me my very first yoga mat. It was purple. Or rather, it is purple- I still have it! The two of us bought another DVD and started practicing on her bedroom floor. We would roll our mats out on her carpet and try to emulate the movements on the tv. Savasana was our favorite pose, and we were always ready for it! I remember not being able to touch my toes, and feeling like the instructor was speaking a different language when she would say things like, "elongate your spine". Still, I felt enamored with the practice.

For a few years, this was my practice. Very inconsistent, lack of structure and guidance. I didn't know any other yogis, and I was intimidated by the thought of taking a class. I assumed I would be the only one who didn't really know what was going on, and it wasn't until I was 19 that I decided to take my first class. It was at American Family Fitness in Virginia. I didn't know what to expect, but I threw on some yoga pants and a tshirt, grabbed my mat and just went for it. I was immediately hooked. I found two instructors that I loved. I really connected with them and went to almost all of their classes. It wasn't long before I was scheduling everything around my yoga practice. One thing that I will always remember is leaving my nephew's 6th birthday party early so that I could take a yoga class! I didn't go more than two or three days without taking a class. I remember doing my first headstand against a wall and my first queen pigeon, and dreaming of becoming a teacher. I always thought it would be so much fun to share with others the joys and benefits of practicing yoga the way my teachers had done for me. For the most part, I was really shy and quiet before and after class. But eventually, I started talking more and more to Iffet, my teacher. She encouraged me to smile more during my practice. Until she mentioned it, I hadn't realized how straight-faced I remained in class. One evening after class, I expressed my admiration for her and for her teaching, and she then encouraged me to consider teacher training. I felt completely empowered after she said that. Could I really be a teacher? My yoga teacher thinks so! I was thrilled, but the idea of it was scary. I had been practicing consistently for more than two years now, and while I was definitely getting stronger, there were still so many things my body wasn't ready to do. I was also 22 and very much still just trying to figure it all out. Teacher training was a real commitment. It was expensive, time consuming, and if I wanted to go all out and just do it, it would require that I travel quite a bit. I decided to go for it.

My aunt and I vacationed in San Diego a couple weeks before my first training. I look back now on this trip and am in awe of how different my life was. I've been in love with San Diego for nearly seven years now. This trip was my fifth visit. I remember thinking the whole time I was there how amazing it would be to live on the west coast and be a yoga teacher. I had no idea that would soon enough be my life. I happened to land in Portland rather than San Diego, but on the west coast nonetheless! After I got home from that trip, I started traveling like crazy. I was working in an office at the time as a receptionist, and I would study my yoga books between answering phones and filing papers. I would often have trainings on the weekend, and head out Friday after work. I spent a lot of time alone with myself. I had frequent trainings in DC and Northern Virginia, and would drive early in the morning and late at night to void the extra cost of staying in a hotel room. The time eventually came when I had to make a choice. I had taken all the trainings I needed in my area, and if I wanted to continue on without a big gap between classes, I'd have to fly to Fort Lauderdale for five days. I started connecting with people in an online yoga forum, and found Dacia. Dacia was a wife, a mother and a yogi in North Carolina with whom I felt a great connection. We encouraged each other, and decided to meet in Florida and share a room for five nights while we trained. The whole trip was life changing. It was during savasana in a master class in Florida that I made the decision to move to Portland to be with my now husband. My yoga teacher training taught me everything I now know about myself. It changed the way I looked at everything. It mellowed me out. The five days I spent in Fort Lauderdale with Dacia and 50 or so other yogis are largely responsible for molding me into the teacher and person I am today.

Dacia and me in Fort Lauderdale with our master trainers, Chrys & Kristin

 It's amazing how I've written so much and have barely even touched on the physical benefits of my yoga practice! I still consider myself to be a baby yogi. I am constantly learning new things and experiencing growth in my practice. It wasn't until this year that I could do a full chatturanga. I finally feel like my hamstrings are loosening up, and I am starting to be more comfortable going upside down with no wall for extra support. I feel myself getting stronger each time I practice! While it is hard to be patient sometimes, I have to do my best to embrace the fact that I am, and always will be, a student. I was told this summer by a teacher I love, respect and admire that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my practice. And I believe her, and think the same thing for all of my own students as well. I do always say that it's a yoga practice and not a perfect, and I encourage people that it's okay if you can't touch your toes, or if you can't wrap your legs in eagle, or balance in half moon. When those things happen, it's great, but we don't have to be able to do these things in order to call ourselves yogis. And the awesome thing is that all of those things will come in time. As Kathryn Budig has said, "Every distant goal grows from a simple seed watered with rich intention."

In addition to being able to bend more easily and clear my mind with a few deep breaths, I also credit my yoga practice for my healthy diet. Who wants to eat a cheeseburger and then go practice yoga?! We feel better when we eat better, and that's that.

I could go on and on for days about yoga and the many ways in which it has changed my life. But instead I will wrap this blog up with a few last words: Before a consistent yoga practice, I was weak and frail. Slowly, I've started to evolve into a stronger and more flexible human who cares about the feelings of others and pays close attention to what's happening inside of herself. If you practice yoga, I want to know some of the positive effects it's had on your life. How has it affected your relationships? Your health? If you don't practice yoga, I truly hope you will find some inspiration in this blog. I hear all the time, "I can't do yoga, I'm not flexible." Well guess what, neither was I! We've all got to start somewhere.

Namaste.
Tami